Mr. Sharp-Tongue Client

Carisa H-K on July 27, 2021

The sharp-tongued client

In the bathroom stall surrounded by funky purple walls, she attempted to suppress the tears welling near the top of her throat.  Not unlike the chest-burster in Alien, the prickle was down there… waiting to get out.

She pictured encapsulating the spiny ball in a clear, smooth casing of jelly.  Rubbing out the rough edges, she mindfully eliminated the creases in her forehead and allowed a sense of numbness to blanket her mind.

Will the technique work, as it had in past when faced with defeat and looming doom?  She was about to find out during her next challenge: keeping emotions contained as she headed in to see The Boss.

She felt confident, moving from the bathroom toward his office, that she had successfully swallowed her tears.  I can get through this meeting, she thought.  Even though, she had to reveal current events with her client in transparency.

Step by step, she moved through the Zen Garden, gaining an additional sense of calm and collect.  She maintained that feeling while ambulating closer to Mr. P’s office, down a modern concrete hallway.  She passed by a few relaxed co-workers nursing longnecks in the hall in the middle of the day. Clearly, they did not bear the burden of “representing” their work to the customer, like she did.  Setting the pressure of her job aside, she entered and found the Delivery VP sitting stern and tall behind his desk.

She sat in the guest chair across from his desk, looked in his firm eyes, took a breath, and spoke.  Instantly, with only a word or two about the client situation out of her mouth, a spine on the cry ball broke through the jelly bubble in her throat. 

Oh God, no no no.  I can’t cry in my Boss’s office!

Choking out a few more words, another, then another, spine ripped into her upper throat until the fear and upset burst forward through her eyes.

Noooooo!!…..

It all came out in gobs then, in an unstoppable wave:  “Why am I crying?… I don’t normally cry… I’m so sorry… The client got upset with me the other day!  He berated me and the team with insulting names.  He may be right!  Maybe I can’t do this job.  Does he want me off the account?  I know I have a lot to learn, but this is just abusive!”  Then, the words dried up as she tried to breathe.

She thought she had seen it all with the client from hell, aka the Faxing Madman, who chose to convey venom via 8-10 faxed pages per day.  At that time, she had to deal with an employee emotionally destroyed by the customer.  That employee reacted by putting an unforgettable epithet about the client on an FTP site. 

But today, I’m the one on the receiving end, she ruefully thought. Mr. Sharp-Tongue’s approach felt more serious: less of a “passive-aggressive faxer”, and more of a “verbal affront master” with berating insults over extended conference calls.

And instead of vitriol, she reacted with a puddle of tears. Sitting there embarrassed, something in the room perceptively shifted to another level.

Mr. P’s eyes softened immediately, and in a moment of realization, she knew he was completely different underneath his stony facade.  He hid this nurturing side well, and it thoroughly surprised her.

“Oh I’m so sorry,” he said with a lilting tone. “This isn’t the first time this has happened to someone on the team.  He’s just a bully!  You can do it!  Don’t listen to him.”

The revelation that this happened several times before with other team members shocked her.  That maybe it wasn’t her, but him.  As Mr. P continued, she learned that a coworker recently resigned because of Mr. Sharp-Tongue.  No wonder why, she thought sarcastically.

Then another wave came over Mr. P: this time, anger.  He was fed up.  He couldn’t afford to lose another team member over this man.

His stony look returned quickly.  More assertively than ever before, he stated:  “I’ll talk to him.  Remember – you’re just marketing toothpaste.  You’re not trying to solve world hunger here.”

Then the proverbial sun came out and the jelly ball graciously returned to her throat.  She was relieved beyond words to not remain saddled with this burden all on her own.

And with that, she never cried again on the job, given she felt that someone had her back.  Perhaps even more importantly, she learned empathy from this experience.  Many times in future, when faced with similar challenging situations with employees, she retained Mr. P’s life lesson: put yourself in others’ shoes and provide a supportive force.

And what of Mr. Sharp-Tongue? Well…

She enjoyed a tremendous amount of growth through their relationship, eventually.  Berating 15-minute calls turned into 4-hour strategic work conferences, where both contributed powerfully and equally.  Their work together broke new ground in leveraging the digital landscape to market consumer products.

Maybe it was a few choice words from The Boss, or maybe it was just her skills improving. Perhaps a little of both.  But, the relationship deepened… lasting for years. The final lesson?  Consider your “enemies” with empathy too.  Even bullies can change and become mentors.

As always, I hope you enjoyed this and it brightened your day.

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Meet Bartles, Meet Jaymes

Carisa H-K on June 29, 2021

Corporate Happy Hour Drinks

The first thing she learned from High School Driver’s Ed class converted to a solid life rule: Consume only 1 alcoholic drink per hour to stay under the legal limit.

So why then, would she subject herself to consuming alcohol on a late Friday afternoon, before leaving the office, potentially delaying her departure?  Why would she want to stay even 1 hour more after 45, 50, or 60+ hours already worked that week?

A roar approached down the concrete hallway:  Glass clinking glass, a vibrating rumble, excited voices.  The front desk admins wheeled white plastic coolers to the gathering points, filled to the brim with ice and long necks.  By week, these single-serve adult treats hid under lock and key in a storage closet.  But on Friday, they came out with gusto.

Back to her dilemma – to drink or escape – the path remained clear based on the irrefutable facts of alcohol metabolism.  To other workers, the alcoholic appeasement kept them pliant to continue working long hours week after week.

But a new life lesson emerged, creating a push-and-pull in her logic.  It’s a good thing to not just meet Bartles & Jaymes, but also to meet and socialize with coworkers, right?

Perhaps if she joined the throngs of colleagues, she might find them collecting in specific areas of their warehouse office. Like all premier digital agencies of the early 2000’s, there was no shortage of uniquely designed spaces.  The uncommon locales for consulting life included the “Front Deck”, a quirky area constructed inside the building, complete with hammock, beach umbrella and picnic tables.  The more staid “Back Deck” stood outside, consisting simply of unstained wood perched behind the building, with more picnic tables and grills.  The company clearly knew how to utilize raw, untreated 2x4s, featuring them heavily on the decks and zen garden.

Fearing a social faux pas, she resolved to make an appearance at the corporate Happy Hour.  After the utopia, however, she found most coworker interactions slightly disappointing. She found herself surrounded by the young and vibrant, but also the relatively less friendly. The environment remained competitive.  She understood, given many others lived through the “dot-com boom and bust” like she did.  Since then, a somewhat jaded attitude bubbled just under everyone’s surface.

Swiping a frou frou wine cooler from the massive vat of beers, she wandered through distant memories of warm, keg beer at a friend’s party. Almost instantly, the same putrid, sweet scent swirled and stuck in her nose, wafting from nearby drinkers.  Ick, beer was just not for her.  Nor really was the silly Bartles & Jaymes in her hand, but why not give the impression of sociability?  

After a few brief moments of social interaction, the wine cooler remained lidded, and followed her home.  It proceeded to reside in the far corners of her fridge for years in the hopes that a future house guest would enjoy it.

Maybe if more time was given to the Happy Hour, the story ahead might have unfolded differently.  As it was, it took years for social acumen to build in this “not particularly social” introvert.  Yet, later years revealed a dynamic shift, both in herself and those around her: from competition to a sense of kind acquaintance and deep teamwork.

But she could not imagine nor foresee any such shift, in that fleeting, inconsequential moment.

If only one lesson is gained from this little story, consider this:  Follow your socially awkward side. You need not feel obligated to attend that Happy Hour today. You just might find some success in life simply by keeping the alcohol consumption down.

As always, I hope you enjoyed this and it brightened your day.

Please “like” if you did on social media (@DigitalDeliria), share, and post your comments.

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